XXIV XI IX

Sunday, November 22, 2009

It's been this long a time when I suddenly feel like I've lost control of my own life. I'd always been in control, regardless of the many mixed emotions I may feel.

Should I realise recently, that indeed I am a closet control freak when it comes to planning out my life and how I don't take spontaenous ideas to mind - more like ideas that I didn't expect coming my way. Someone that really understood me pointed this out and maybe that was why I held on so tight to ideas I used to believe in, and that was why it took me so long to let go of something I was so comfortable and habitual to.

How I always told myself never to take the initiative, how I always thought things would happen if they had to... I realise to make things happen you fight for it, and you do what it takes.

The doc said my headache was due to tension. He said I was stressed. So it's true that my emotional stress is the cause of it, looking at how things got so complicated of late; things are happening faster than how much I can absorb.

What's been happening still doesn't feel real. I guess anticipation gets the better of me when I pictured the aftermath of a seperation to be pretty negative. Truth is, I'm actually happier. In a lot of ways.

The best things come when you least expect it. Hopefully not thinking and worrying too much on this decision would be right for once.

And hopefully, neither of us gets hurt along the way.

2 Comments:

Unknown said...: "Sometimes all you can do is not think. Not wonder. Not obsess. Not imagine. Just breathe. Breathe in, breathe out. Everything works out in the end, and the more time you spend worrying about it, the longer it takes for things to end perfectly.. just the way they should" -pickmeadaisy

x; Friday, November 27, 2009 at 12:42:00 PM GMT+8
Abbehgayle said...: "JUST ONE NIGHT COULDN'T BE SO WRONG YOU MAKE ME WANNNA LOSE CONTROL"

Read between the lines about our night yesterday hahahahha.; Friday, November 27, 2009 at 2:19:00 PM GMT+8