Everything's dying
Literally.
My laptop, my appetite, my life when there was a maid, my social life, my dependence on the Internet... my Farmville. Okay not like I give a fuck about Farmville anymore.
And, yeah I know my grandfather died already.
I've been so busy these days with all the funeral procedures, he was cremated at Mandai on Wednesday and that was the first time in my life I've seen my mum cried so hard. In fact, she had always been a fighter and never have I ever seen her shed a tear my entire life.
I had my last cry last night on the phone with Sheldon. I'm telling myself that I should be over it now, pretty hard when I clearly knew I didn't spend enough time with him when I could. Yes, regrets. I realised that I even knew my grandfather better after he passed away compared to when he was alive when everyone had stories to share through the nights of the wake.
His funeral wake was, uh way too glamourous. Not the right word, but you get the drift. He was a gangster in his younger days so there were many gangs that came to the wake. All the ahpeks with angkong all over... Scary hor. It was exactly like in those Taiwan drama shit, they all gather in front of him to bow 3 times in a group as a form of respect. We didn't have enough space under just one block, so we called in for more tables and chairs to be put up at the opposite block to house those people and things got pretty out of control, it was no different from a gambling den.
Everyone he knew, or once knew, including the neighbour whose cat got thrown off from the 12th floor by him came. People that he beat up before in his younger days held no resentment. There was this mediacorp actor that came to sing for him on the last day as well. Wtf, my ahgong big shot - I never knew.
My friends that came, thank you.
You had no idea how much it meant.
I asked my mum if it was appropriate for the camera to be brought while we had our last walk around Sims Drive area. I thought it shoud be something shot and kept in an album.. Something we show to our children when we all grow up. But she told me no, she said it's something we should all keep close to our hearts and to ourselves. Not something we want others to know and feel the same way.
It probably hurts a lot to me than I previously thought it would bcos it's my first loss. I'd always thought I'll have my grandparents all my life, it never really occurred to me that they'll go and really go for good? Should have spent more time with them while he was still alive.
I know this page is like a mopping story altogether, all words of self-indulging pity no pictures no nothing. Sadly, my ASUS crashed. Data hasn't been backed up. Hopefully my data could be retrieved before I bring it to the service center. It starts up when it feels like it and gives me a blank screen almost 80% of the time. Tough luck.
Problematic maid that, lied about her relatives dying in the Marriot bombing awhile back and got my mum into a car accident, was sent home today. Good and bad; good because her sending home was delayed way too long when my parents were preoccupied with my grandfather's hospitalisation.. bad bcos I need to stay home more to help out with the house chores. My house, 3 storeys and a basement. Fml.
And yes I do have a lot of overdued pictures to upload but.. another time.
Still feeling very fucked up with my bloated stomach from only 1 and a half meals today.
1 Comments:
My laptop hasn't been backed up either and everyday when I switch it on I hope that it won't decide to screw with me and crash itself. Lmao. >.>
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