Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Comprehending everything that's happening lately is pretty impossible. Ever since I dreamt of my grandfather I've been looking at things differently without the exact intention to make things different for me.No longer wanting to go out, I want to go home more than anything when I can. Just want to lie in bed, surf the net endlessly, appear offline on MSN as usual. I start to realise I've shifted and reshuffled my priorities unknowingly. Doing things that makes myself feel good, feigning ignorance when I know it's not right anyway, rather than to have the usual pressure in being the best person/friend/girlfriend/daughter everyone wants me to be.
Unexplainable.
It's the kind of sorrow you feel deep down within you, so deep it can't reach your skin and you can't feel your tears with the fingers. You can't see it from the outside, you don't want to show it. The kind of sorrow you know stays with you, it's not disposable nor would it get better. It has already gotten better from when it rooted in me. It's already the best I can feel. It's permanent and buried. Deep.
Apart from not seeing Sheldon 15 days straight when I went to Europe last year, now's probably 2nd on the list - 5 days. Timetables can never clash worse than this, his work, my driving lessons yadayada.................. I miss him a lot. I think we're glue.
Is it me or is everyone going through a rough patch lately?
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Random pictures from the last of my carefree days during the hols, out and about around the usual places with the usual people. Half priced cheesecakes at Cartel is like, (^^)Y ichibang!
To think I thought I've been blogging at the usual frequency for the week, but I didn't realise I haven't touched this place ever since school started, okay it didn't really start for me did it....... It occupied me pretty much somehow, my timetable's really a waste of time, ending at 3/4/5 and only 1 on Tuesday. HOW TO BOOK DRIVING LESSONS AT THE NORMAL RATE YOU TELL ME.. After 6pm slots and weekends charges 11$ more. What the fuck man, I've only completed module 1 while Sheldon's at his last bike prac to TP and I've already spent the same amount as him. Someone pls remind me to book on the 15th next month so I could stop filling cancelled slot and having no choice but to book 69$ slots.... and finally start selecting timings to my own convenience? :(
My dad turned 50 yesterday, we went out for a great great dinner and I brought the camera cos I told my mum we should take more pictures together apart from when we're on holidays. When I wanted to snap I realised I left my SD card in the laptop I'm so fucking smart. Had to settle for the handphone camera, pathetic... I can't stop being careless.
Jermayne's(Sheldon's cousin) birthday was on the same day as well, only that she turned 12. Headed to Downtown East after Photography(WHICH WAS A REALLY GOOD IS MODULE SURPRISINGLY???) for the bbq.
His auntie bought a wig and we...
concluded this would be my perfect hairstyle in the shade of a very sane and normal hair colour. If only I didn't have curly baby hair that looks like pubic hair on my scalp. The pink is so barbieeeeeeeee, Halloween's coming!
Okay I'm gonna jog later I need to lead a healthier lifestyle my muscles are non-existant already. I'm actually home on a Saturday, amazing much?! I'm becoming so family-oriented these days. I just want to stay home. I choose to stay home. Be with my mum. Play with the dogs. Play with the pups.
Oh yes. The pups!!!!!!!!!!!
They did a Flashforward, dog version.
Probably dreaming about their new owners and have new dog collars and new leashes and a new home, all happening 6months later.
That's how they take their afternoon naps!
This is my desktop background everytime I look at it I can't help but smile!!
ARE YOU MELTING ALREADY?!?! I told myself I shouldn't be attached to them since they wouldn't be mine anyway.... But I. Can't. Help. It. They. Are. So. Fucking. Adorable. Even though they like pee everywhere and pull plants out of the basement's balcony and place them in their dishbowl as if it's some treasure they found..... Still love them. They're gonna be collected by the end of next week, I can tell my mum's trying to delay the whole collection thingum cos she can't bear to see them go.... sigh.
This teeny weeny's the only one left unsold. He's the cutest.
I don't know why no one wants him.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
I'll be back at the campus in Clementi.I'll be waking up at 6-fucking-am.
I'll be so away from my comfiest bed.
I'll be stuck in a class with Peishi as the only comforting face.
I'll be facing a screwed up timetable.
I'll be having problems meeting Sheldon after school, taking in hand that his timetable is literally unbeliveably slackish. That would also mean he'll have more days working at CK Jeans when he can, for his Vespa.
Vespa. Omg, if Sheldon really gets a Vespa. I cannot wear skirts anymore. That is if he gets one. Which probably would happen because he's the sort of person that makes everything he wants happen for him.
My mum was just told me that my new maid's 18 years old. I was like WTF and it made me feel like a spoilt brat wasting my life away with no life achievements(yet, hopefully) while another 18 year old's so far away from home, living with strangers under the same roof.. all for the sake of her family. Pretty brave, and amazing. Now it makes things so hard for us to make things hard for her.. which was something we didn't do with the previous maid who eventually took things for granted.
Got to wake up tomorrow morning for porridge breakfast with my folks wlao I can't believe I promised them.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
When everyone told me I have tons of shoes I was never convinced until I packed up the entire family's shoe collection today, only to realise I have more than... 40 pairs. I even forgot about some of the pairs that I bought sometime back - all shoved into the shoe cupboard rather untidily, instead of being visible to me on the rack. What the fuck.
At least I'm left with 20 pairs now. Not that bad right..............
Anyway it was really funny when we turned 20th on Tuesday night.
(on the phone)
Sheldon: Happy 17th month!
Me: Uh. You sure it's 17th? (it just didn't sound right then)
Sheldon: Yeah? Wlao you don't even know ah?
Me: Okay lor... (and our convo continued briefly for awhile)
And I realised it was wrong 3 minutes after we hung up when I counted by fingers I called him back..
Me: IT'S 18 MONTHS LAH I JUST COUNTED OMG YOU LOUSY BOYFRIEND.
Then he bo wei gong.
In the end we both realised we were wrong when we counted again on Wednesday cheeeebye hahahhahahha I think we both suck or maybe time isn't the issue for us anymore. Good, right? Since I'm always the one with the whole time issue between the both of us...
And yesh it's true that we've been growing fatter, the pinching stomach habit has now became a very sensitive issue. Can tell when the person who gets pinched wants to breathe in first before getting pinched. HAHHAH.
We've been growing fatter unknowingly these entire hols, on the contrary my appetite's been going down - I feel horrible and pukish after eating only one meal a day so fucking not worth it for buffet. So all in all idk why my tummy's spare tyring. This is so sad!
When I told him I may be going jogging tomorrow night since he has training, all he could say was..
'Okay. I'm so happy for you.'
OMG WHAT KIND OF REPLY IS THAT???
Anyway some other photos dating way earlier:
A happy Shearen just after she was done with prelims. This was way before my grandpa's passing.. Just didn't get around to posting them and I only got them posted on Fb a few days back.
You see Imee wearing that top, and you see Rachel wearing that top in the post below... And you see me wearing that top, here. EVERYONE WEARS MY CLOTHES!!!! But looks nice on everyone hor.
My DKE 58mm colour filters arrived awhile back. I was really excited to get it but when I finally saw it sitting on my study table in a parcel box I wasn't as excited as I thought I would be. Why.
We overlapped like 3 filters and this was the result:
...Fail.
Haven't been seeing my best friend very often lately, think she's currently czech-mate.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Last weekend at Sentosa with the girls for Shearen's very belated birthday celebration. Had a room at Siloso Beach Resort, but I think we spent more time trying to cut the queue to get into Powerhouse than the time we've spent in the hotel room. Nyaha.Some of them tanned for the afternoon, I didn't wanna go uh cos I was bleeding(you get it right). Joined them at night.
AND AS I WAS BLEEDING....
Couldn't swim lor. So Weiru Fong and I had to watch them swim while we mixed drinks and ate some chocolate coated cereal thingy Shearen always brings from home.
You notice Rachel was wearing green in the first pic and blue in the third? SHE WORE HER TANK INTO THE POOL AND WE ALL DIDN'T REALISE ONLY AFTER AWHILE. LOL.
Wanfong has the same look the apple on her shirt has.
HAHHHA FUCK.
Tell me why am I the only one with the red face?
Headed back and,
Shearen wasn't so childish or I think she couldn't fit into the tub so we left the both of them to bubble bath with the thingum we bought from Daiso earlier on. All those kinky couples can watch each other showering naked from the room HAHHA.
Had a round of Target, had to end every sentence we said with 'Happybdayshearenheehee'. Wah cb.
The moment we put it on for her, she went 'THIS IS NOT GOING ON FACEBOOK.'
Idk what I was laughing at I don't rmb but it's probably Shearen.
Speaking of which I'm so lazy to tag, tag yourself ok ^^
That was Shearen' birthday cake :(
So sad lah I wanted to get her a present so badly I WENT SHOPPING AT ION ALONE MYSELF the day before, trying to find that Topshop dress she wanted but it was totally OOS already.
It seems like FSV students are way more tight up in schedule as compared to us business people.. Everytime Wf and Weiru has to MIA ffffff-fuck cos they have this and that and that and this the next day and everything has to do with film and everytime cannot stay. :(
After they went, we went to Azzura for drinks.(thinking it'll be good.)
Sucked, so we decided to head back to the resort, drink up what's left of the Absolut Mango and headed to Powerhouse in flip flops. Totally unplanned for?!??!
Probably never going back there again cos,
1) It was way too crowded like zouk flea crowd x 7
2) In case anyone remembered us wearing flip flops there
3) The bouncer probably hate us by now since we acted drunk to cut the queue ha ha ha ha.
No pictures cos.... no camera. But it was great even though we headed Movida(pinoy hangout) after awhile when the crowd was still, whoa.
Thanks for the whole accomodation Shearen, for the record you're one of the laziest friend ever but yet you're so smart it's almost scary that you're actually a very, very sane JC kid - to even want to party with us when As are so near for you. Love you every other day, in case you don't know it!
I don't think my mum's coping well these days but I don't know what to say to make her feel better, guess it doesn't help that she's been so preoccupied with household chores since the new maid hasn't came yet. She still feels like my grandfather's still alive when she received a sms reminder from the hospital yesterday to bring my grandfather for that checkup he was suppose to have after his operation - the operation that failed. My heart wrenches when I see her eyes welling up with tears.
Feeel so, fucking helpless.
