Your mouth's too stiff
Just apologise when you're wrong.
What so fucking difficult about that?
Can't take not being important anymore.
That will be, and always stay, broken
Looks like I'm always here when I'm upset.
I can't tell you anything anymore without making you feel tired of me. You're already between my fingers before I start losing grip of everything, of us, of what we had, and of you.
I can't tell you that I can never completely get over what I felt yesterday, I can't tell you into your face that no one has ever made me feel so unwanted in my life before... So replaceable, so insignificant. It's always going to be a scar, and when it heals and leave a mark, I'm always going to remember every single bit of what I went through to get used to this pain.
I can't tell you everything about how I know the more I act this way, the more I'll be pushing both of us apart. That was why you even spoke to her in the first place - because you finally thought it through that after all this time, she's the one that understood you and I never did from the start.
I can't tell you that you were what I chose to have from the start. You were the choice that I fought through hell for to have what we have today. I threw away the idea of stability because I knew what I felt for you was a gamble I had to take to feel happier and alive. And maybe all these while, you were too afraid to tell me, or even yourself, that I was only what you settled for.
I can't cry anymore, I'm out of tears. Every other time I do cry, all I do is undo the stitches I sew on myself in the day and open them up to remember how it feels like to really be hurt by someone you gave up everything for. In day I close them, in night they pry themselves wide open.
I can't bear to show my insecurity, my weaknesses.... Truth is, I'm not the strongest girl you've ever known, I only pretend to be. Because I believed I will be strong as long as I could always continue to pretend to be strong.
I know I said to live it up to me to make things right, but I realised I can never feel the same way about you anymore. Because I broke, and there will always be this gut in me to hold back for what's installed for us. I broke my own faith in us, I broke my faith in thinking we were strong enough to go through everything together.
I can't tell you to do anything about this, because you would have no idea how it feels to think you're sharing. I can't tell you any of these because I'll look like that typical fucked and screwed up girlfriend that doesn't allow her boyfriend to walk near any girl within the 3metre radius.
And what's the point of holding you back from doing what you want to do? You're with me but you won't be mine.
I can't tell you to show me that you love me the same, or love me more. I can't tell you to make all these feelings go away, to reassure me because maybe you shouldn't. I can't tell you that I feel like you can never totally be mine again.
I can't tell you anything because I never felt more pathetic in my life to be so scared of losing you when you finally realise you can't handle me anymore.
And when tomorrow comes, I can't tell you that from tonight onwards, I'll be breaking just a little slowly, bit by bit.
I can never ever fucking have the guts to tell you anything, anymore.
